“Captain America: Civil War” – What We Know So Far

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“Captain America: Civil War” is currently shooting in Atlanta on an exceptionally tight production schedule.

The film, a sequel to “Captain America: The Missouri Compromise” and “Captain America: John Brown’s Raid,” is one of the most anticipated superhero movies since “Superman V: The Return of Nuclear Man” and is certain to shake the Marvel Cinematic Universe to its very core, which is located – for some reason – just outside of Elsinore, Utah.

The release date may be ten months away, but fans are already getting a taste of what’s in the film thanks to leaked photos, insinuative tweets and brazen taunts.

Some fans at Mintinthebox.com claim to have sneaked onto the set and watched the filming for a little while. They saw a scene in which Captain America carried a prop cutout of Thor’s hammer, which either means that it will be replaced in post by computer graphics or that Chris Evans was stealing something to sell later on eBay to try to make up the gap between his and Robert Downey Jr.’s salaries.

Another sequence involved a garbage truck heading at top speed toward The Institute of Infectious Diseases. This would seem to indicate that at least a third, if not more than 50 percent, of the film will be devoted to trash collection.

The spies also claim to have caught glimpses of Frank Grillo in his Crossbones and Captain Feathersword costumes.

We have all, I trust, seen recent photos of actor Daniel Bruhl arriving on the set. Bruhl is slotted to play villain Baron Zemo in the film.

In the comics, Baron Zemo shot futuristic glue out of a futuristic spray gun. He is not to be confused with Baron Zima, whose chief weapon was a malt beverage that didn’t taste like it could possibly have any alcohol in it until it was too late.

The plot of “Captain America: Civil War” involves superheroes choosing sides in advance of an epic battle with each other, but one character will reportedly remain neutral.

It’s Black Panther, aka the Prince of Wakanda.

In perhaps the film’s most powerful scene, Black Panther’s Minister of External Affairs advises Iron Man, “Prince Wakanda don’t want done what can’t be undone, son.”

According to Mydinnerwithmanthing.com, Hawkeye will wear a costume with more purple in it this time around, War Machine’s armor will be upgraded with a shoulder-mounted cannon and Ant-Man will develop the ability to use his gut microbes to enhance the nutritional value of food he gathers thus allowing him to survive in nitrogen-poor areas, such as rainforest canopies.

According to the Georgereeveswasmurdered.com, Martin Freeman will assay the role of British Prime Minister Edward Chase. He will take responsibility for cleaning up the collateral damage caused by the Avengers – collateral damage being defined as what happens after superheroes decide that the best way to save a city that has been raised high in the air by an evil robot is just to let it drop to the ground.

Actor Sebastian Stan’s presence on the set would seem to indicate that his character, Bucky Barnes (aka the Winter Soldier) will loom large in “Captain America: Civil War.”

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Barnes was a villain in the last “Captain America” movie but he became a hero in the comics. Many fans would love to see him embrace some of the benevolence of his namesake, Pope Bucky VIII.

Rumors that Barnes will eventually assume the persona of Australian rock star Chris Gaines are groundless speculation.

Actor William Hurt’s return as Thunderbolt Ross has generated some wild speculation about whether Ross will transform in “Captain America: Civil War” into the Red Hulk (aka Rulk).

If he does, it could open the door for appearances by Gray Hulk (aka Gulk), Blue Hulk (aka Bulk), Whiny Saffron Hulk (Sulk), Cinnamon-Auburn Hulk (aka Caulk) Peach-Terra Cotta-Fawn Hulk (aka Peter Falk) and Firebrick-Russet-Zaffre-Baby Blue Hulk (aka Fairuza Balk).

Forlorn She-Hulk fans have been wondering when that beloved character will ever make an appearance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Since She-Hulk hasn’t even generated rumors to date, it is probably too optimistic to expect appearances by She-Male Hulk (aka Shmulk) and the Fuchsia matriarch of the Hulk clan, Mother Fulk.

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