Dubbed the greatest gladiator match in history by people who probably don’t know all that much about gladiators, “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” is certain to be the biggest summer blockbuster since “Batman v. Superman: Afterparty of Justice” and “Batman v. Superman: Last Call of Justice.”

Since this movie was announced, the internet has been awash in rumor, insinuation, baseless speculation and a staggering amount of mostly unrelated pornography.

Based on a dystopian graphic novel about an old, ugly and weary Batman who battles a corrupt Superman, “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” concerns a younger, hotter but still pretty weary Batman who battles a rather sulky Superman.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Ben Affleck plays Batman, a cave-dwelling superhero who lives under lots of rock.

Reports that Affleck rewrote some of his scenes in his trailer while dressed as Batman were greeted with surprise by some pundits. They didn’t say who else they expected him to be dressed as.

The role of Superman will be assayed by Henry Cavill, an actor so chiseled, muscular and ramrod-straight that he could play a statue of Superman and may already have.

The character of Superman has changed a lot since 1938. Seventy years ago, people were happy if he did nothing more than leap tall buildings in a single bound and fight a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American way. These days, people are harder to please. They expect Superman to accomplish the nearly impossible task of never smiling.

Gone are the spandex costumes of old. These days, Batman’s outfit looks like it’s made from the skin of the snake known as the black mamba and Superman’s outfit looks like it’s made from the skin of the snake known as the LGBT pride mamba.

While it is true that Superman is a Kryptonian immigrant, at least he has the courtesy to choose a job that no native-born American in his right mind would want in 2016: daily newspaper reporter.

As the movie opens, the public is spilt on its view of the Kryptonian. Half of the world sees him as a god, and the other half sees him as merely a Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the world and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.

While for many, he is still an emblem of hope, a growing number of people consider him to be a more divisive sort of emblem, perhaps something like the most hated Boy Scout merit badge of all: “Excellence in Bugling.”

What we have come to understand from the trailers is that Batman bears some sort of grudge against Superman. This grudge is strong enough, apparently, to compel him to become a so-called “bat vigilante,” named for that breed of bat that is known for vendettas.

The relationship between Batman and Superman is contentious from the start, as is evidenced by a scene in which the latter contemptuously rips off the mask worn by the former and Batman replies, “And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for this meddling Kryptonian.”

Batman knows it will be tough to beat Superman, so he constructs a battle suit equipped with every weapon he can think of. Unfortunately, it doesn’t occur to him until it’s too late that Superman is strangely susceptible to Joel Schumacher’s bat-nipples.

In this incarnation of the Batman mythos, Alfred is the Wayne family’s bodyguard, not its butler. After Bruce Wayne’s parents are murdered, Alfred probably wishes he’d been hired to polish the silver instead.

Batman and Superman aren’t the only superheroes slated to appear in the film. Word has it that Wonder Woman and Aquaman will be on hand (and on fin) as well.

Producers have confirmed that the movie’s version of Wonder Woman is a demigod who runs around demiclad.

She’ll be hundreds of years old at the start of the film, which means she’s aging remarkably well, but not as well as Susan Sarandon.

In one scene, a disguised Wonder Woman goes undercover at the villainous Lex Luthor’s headquarters but risks discovery after she writes an unbelievable fake name on a LexCorp name tag: Miss Tessmacher.

The casting of Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor didn’t sit well with some fans but that won’t stop them from wanting to put a “Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor” action figure in a home display case next to their “Jesse Eisenberg as Mark Zuckerberg” action figure.

At some point in the film, Luthor apparently creates a monster to battle the aforementioned superheroes.

Glimpses of this monster in the trailers have raised all sorts of questions. Is this the DC Comics character known as Doomsday? Does Lex Luthor use genetic material from a dead Kryptonian to create this craggy, cement-colored brute or does he use something else, like crags and cement?

Is this creature related to the Abomination from “The Incredible Hulk” or a cave troll from “Lord of the Rings”? Or is that just lazy CGI?

All questions will be answered on March 25.

Of one thing moviegoers can be certain: “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” will be no lighthearted romp. To preserve the film’s sober tone, director Zack Snyder instructed the actors to confine themselves to a venerable acting style that Lee Strasberg dubbed, “Frowny Face.”

Producers have promised the public that they’ve eliminated the one aspect of Christopher Reeve’s “Superman” films that spoiled them for everyone: the humor.

“Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” is one of 30 superhero films that are slated for release over the next decade, which is news that surely causes most people to ask, “Why is that number so low?”

“Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” is the second of many comic book films that will comprise the DC Cinematic Universe, patterned after the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Other forthcoming cinematic universes include: The Cereal Spokescharacter Cinematic Universe, The Teddy Ruxpin Cinematic Universe, the Big Mouth Billy Bass Cinematic Universe and the Scrubbing Bubbles Cinematic Universe.