
Like a lot of people, I’d never heard the term “alt-right movement” until two weeks ago when Hillary Clinton mentioned it in a speech.
But after reading about it, I realized that I was well-acquainted with disciples of this movement, owing to my participation in movie-related forums and comments sections.
You aren’t going to find the front line of the alt-right movement at the polls. Instead, you will find it at the multiplex.
These are the guys who insist that they aren’t racist or sexist, really, but believe that armageddon is nigh whenever a traditionally white character is played by a black actor or a traditionally male character is played by female actor.
And when a black, female actor occupies space in a movie that these guys think should be reserved for a white, male actor…they get apoplectic.
They act like normal people do when their house is on fire but the fire truck hasn’t arrived yet. You could catch rabies from reading their comments on these matters.
These are the sort of people who think Leslie Jones is more to blame for the fact that Bill Murray will never star in another “Ghostbusters” movie than Bill Murray is to blame for the fact that Bill Murray will never star in another “Ghostbusters” movie.
Blaming Leslie Jones for the lack of elderly, white and male comedians in the rebooted “Ghostbusters” franchise is like blaming Obama for the lack of penguins in Death Valley, it seems to me.
Which is not to suggest that Breibart wouldn’t accuse Obama of penguincide if it cared at all about perfunctory animal murder.
To reiterate: These people who think Leslie Jones exemplifies all that is wrong with the world and that male-driven action films exemplify everything that’s right insist they aren’t racist or sexist. Some of them see themselves as protectors of a definition of cinematic integrity that defies definition. Others see themselves as soldiers fighting shadowy culture defilers.
Among their many cherished conspiracy theories is that critical consensus is often achieved through bribery.
Whenever a movie about men with superpowers or supergadgets receives a preponderance of bad reviews or an action movie with too many women in it receives a preponderance of good reviews, these fellows laugh (bitterly) at the notion that these poolings of opinion could have happened serendipitously.
It is much easier for them to believe that the critics were paid off by some corporate entity or that all these critics got together beforehand and, in the interests of preserving snobbery or advancing so-called “pussification,” agreed to denigrate, en masse, unassailably great superhero cinema.
Given that most of the movie critics who once wielded real influence in Hollywood have either died or been demoted, I find it hard to believe that studios would spend a dime bribing the bloggers and recent J-school grads who do that job now.
I think it’s obvious to most clear-eyed and clear-headed people that superhero movies are the only guaranteed moneymakers in Hollywood at the moment. Hollywood would put a superhero in every movie if it could get away with it. Anthony Hopkins would be playing omnipotent, flying butlers if Hollywood had its way.
Despite such self-evident and inarguable truths, these guys truly do seem to believe that the superhero genre is imperiled, that it is on the verge of being banished utterly in the interest of feminizing men by indoctrinating them with high culture and strong female characters.
I wish I were kidding.
The aforementioned term “pussification” and its variants have been used against me. It refers, presumably, to the process by which a man is turned into a “pussy.”
“Mangina” is another one, as in male vagina.
Because I enjoyed the new “Ghostbusters” and because I don’t require my female action heroes to fight crime while dressed as lingerie models and dominatrices, I am repeatedly told that I must possess a mangina.
And I always reply, “Of course I have a mangina! I am proud of it. It is all manjazzled out. So bright is my manjazzling that it would blind your piggy, little eyes.”
Playground taunts like these are the exclusive purview of men whose sense of their own manhood is built on the shakiest of foundations. If you are employing such epithets and if they work on you, then you really do have something to worry about.
If you are the sort of man who entreats other men to “grow a pair” on social media several times a day, you should probably ask yourself why you have such an inordinate interest in other men’s pairs.
If all this sounds confusing to you, I know what you mean. Arguing logically with these guys is like trying to comb your hair with egg beaters.
But perhaps the preceding gobbledegook can serve as a preface of sorts to understanding why these guys hate Leslie Jones so vehemently and particularly.
Of all the things they find egregious about the “Ghostbusters” reboot, Jones is the most egregious.
And I’ll tell you why: She’s this blunt, unbridled, self-confident and successful black actress who makes no apologies, explicit or implied, for who she is.
Her existence triggers them. They need a safe space for their racism and sexism and she refuses to create one.
They think that they’re owed a world in which actresses are always the window dressing and never the window.
Even as they attack Jones with racist jibes that were old when Lincoln was president, they behave as if they are the injured parties.
Some of them may even believe it.
They’re gargantuan boys who failed to outgrow dumb ideas and were subsequently encouraged by slightly more clever man-children to turn those dumb ideas into a life philosophy.
They’ve been told by people like Milo Yiannopoulos that trolling, which is essentially blaming strangers for your comprehensive and interminable failures, can be a force for good in society.
It’s unmitigated horseshit.
As movements go, alt-right most closely resembles the bowel variety.